One of the highlights of the Christmas / New Year season here in Mandurah (one hour south of Perth on the coast) is the intense competition that arises between owners of homes that have (expensive) canal frontage. Dozens of them spend a fortune on setting up elaborate arrays of lights, decorations and other visual effects in order to try and win the Grand Prize of a bottle of wine.

That’s right, a bottle of wine.

This year, the winner allegedly bought out the entire stock of a lighting shop in Adelaide – reportedly worth $30,000 + - to ensure his win. And it was impressive too. A mate of a mate who set it all up told me there was something like 20 transformers driving it, and the power meter was spinning like a top.

Hundreds if not thousands of people take to the water ways at night in small boats, large boats, kayaks, canoes, surfboards and of course, charter ferries. It’s like Kings Cross out there between 8:30 and 11:00 at night, and for smaller craft, quite dangerous.

I took my Mum on one of the charter ferries along with a video camera. If I had a dollar for every person I saw taking digital still shots with the flash going off, I would be a rich person. I mentioned to a few people they were wasting their time and battery as the flash beyond a couple of metres was pointless and the closest house and lights were easily 10 times that distance. Instead, they should experiment with the mode rotary dial (with the little icon of the moon being a clue) to get better shots.

It was amazing how many people said something like “I never knew about that”, or “I wondered what that was for”.

It was tempting, oh so tempting (and so difficult not to) to say “Read the ******* manual!